Sunday, December 9, 2012

Beauty for Ashes

It is now obvious to all that I am not very good at keeping up with my blog! It has been almost 8 months (!!!) since I last posted. SO much has happened since then and now....and I am so excited to share with you the amazing story that has unfolded since my last blog entry when I was laying in my bed, waiting to see if one or both of those little embryos would implant in my womb. I feel a little overwhelmed at what to write & have had writer's block because I simply don't know where to start since so much has happened!! So I'll just begin & pray that the words just flow & the end result is decent :) I apologize ahead of time for rambling...
So, most of you know by now, that we were so blessed by God...& BOTH of the embryos that the amazing embryologist placed inside my womb "took" & have been growing strong & steady ever since! We are now 35 1/2 weeks pregnant with a set of boy & girl twins!! I'll come back to this later...

This is me at 35 1/2 weeks prego with the surrotwins

You may be wondering how all of this came to be! How did I meet & connect with the couple who's babies now are being nurtured inside of my womb? As you know, from previous posts, I had been praying for & seeking the precious couple that God wanted me to be a Gestational Surrogate for for quite a while. Well, after interviewing with several people through the fertility clinic, and not finding that perfect "match", I had posted on Facebook that I was still searching (since many of my friends & family were interested in my journey). I posted how I knew God had the perfect couple waiting out there & that when the time was right, it would all come to be. Well, shortly after that post, I received a Private Message on Facebook from an old friend from high school, Amy. We had been friends throughout school, not really that close, but we always had a "connection" & had great admiration for each other, though we didn't get the chance to really know each other well. Well, in this message, she basically poured out her heart & shared with me how she read my post & knew about my dream to be a surrogate...and that her & her husband had dreamed of finding a surrogate, but because of all they had been through, they were nervous to go down that avenue. As I was reading this, it immediately made me think back to 6 months earlier, when I received one of the most devastating emails I had ever read, from Amy, regarding the adoption of their precious son & the heart-break that followed. This is what that email had said (FYI, I have been given permission from Amy to share this with you):

  • Conversation started April 25, 2011
  • As you all know Eric and I adopted a baby, Griffin, in Oct 2010 from Oklahoma. We were informed by the agency and the birth mother that she did not know who the father was. Unfortunately that was a lie that she told many people including the judge in adoption court. It seems that she put the baby up for adoption because she and the biological father had a falling out and she wanted to keep the child away from him. We were informed in February that there was a potential father out there and that he had begun the process to verify if he was the biological father. For reasons unknown to us the process took a very long time and we finally had to do DNA testing at the end of March. Shortly after that we found out that this person is in fact the biological father and he wants the child back. We are obviously beyond crushed by this news. We have hired 3 lawyers to help us navigate the laws both here and in Oklahoma. We unfortunately have next to no legal rights on our side. So we have been advised by our lawyers that our case is unwinable and now we have no other choice but to return our baby to his birthfather. The birthfather is coming to pick him up Saturday April 30th. We never in a million years imagined this happening , it still feels like a nightmare that I will wake up from. We have fallen so in love with Griffin and I cant imagine him not being a part of our family. Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.


At the time, I had wished with my whole heart there was something I could do to relieve her pain, to help her in some way. I had written her back & (looking back now, I get chills, knowing now all that God had in store) this is some of what I had said:
  • Conversation started April 25, 2011
  • Griffin
    Oh sweet Amy! I am so so so very heartbroken with you about this news!!...If there is ANYTHING I can do, please let me know...I will be praying for you non stop & believing with you that SOMETHING can be done! I will also be praying that God comforts you and your husband and everyone who knows & loves your sweet baby during this time. Love you girl!! Please call if you need anything at all!!


Well, April 30th came & they had to return their precious baby to the birth father, after almost 6 full months of loving on him & believing he was "theirs". When she contacted me the second time on Facebook, 6 months later, after she read my posts about surrogacy, they obviously were still grieving the loss of their baby boy (in fact, I am sure that it will be something that they will grieve for the rest of their lives). My posts had given her a hope she hadn't had. So she got up the courage to write me...and she simply stated how they would love for me to carry for them, if I thought it was a good fit & if we all could work out all of the logistics. She asked me to call or write her back. I read her message & my heart soared! Something felt so right. I couldn't wait to get ahold of her, but it had to be the "perfect" time, like when all 4 of my little ones were quietly watching a movie or playing outside. Well, come to find out, there is no such thing as "quiet" or the "perfect" time to chat about something so important in my household. So, I unfortunately kept putting it off, telling myself I'd get ahold of her the next day. Two weeks went by & sweet Amy had to write me back and apologize if she offended me or made me feel uncomfortable, etc ...and that kicked my hiney into gear & I stopped waiting for the "perfect" moment & wrote her back right away, apologizing & reassuring her & said that I would call her the next day. I also wrote: "Right now I am just praying & waiting for the perfect couple to carry for. It is my truest heart's desire to do this for someone  It would be even MORE fulfulling to do it for such a wonderful family like yours! Love ya girl!! Who knows what God has in store??"
Well I finally gave her that call. Amy shared with me her story about why they had adopted & now were seeking out surrogacy. She told me about how her & Eric have 2 sons, an almost-11 year old & a 4 year old. Both pregnancies were very difficult, & when she was pregnant with the 4 year old, her body built antibodies against him. She has O-negative blood & she failed the Rogam shot with her first son, that they give mothers right after delivery which prevents this from happening with subsequent pregnancies. So at 20 weeks along with her second son, they discovered her elevated antibodies and she was considered high risk. She had to have ultrasounds every week & 2 amniocentesis (VERY scary procedure). Not to mention she had a condition during pregnancy that made her pass out (and at one point she actually fainted while driving and got in a car accident...thank God she & baby were ok!)She was induced at 37 weeks & he had to spend nearly 3 weeks in the NICU and almost had to have a blood transfusion. Her OB/GYN told her she "could" get pregnant again, but that the condition would only get worse with each pregnancy. Amy & her husband didn't feel good about getting pregnant again & risking the health of their child, so they decided to explore other routes to grow their family. I felt such an ache for her as she was sharing this with me and knew that after her devastating experience with adoption, finding a "stranger" to be a surrogate for them would be so scary! She shared with me that it gave them hope to find someone that they "knew" to do this for them, someone they could trust with something as important as this. As we were talking, I realized quickly that she was serious & this made me get serious too! We began talking about & trying to get all of our ducks in a row with the Fertility Clinic, lawyers, etc. It was almost impossible for us both to not to let ourselves get too excited or our hopes too high! I, personally, felt such a peace about the whole situation & just knew that it was the perfect fit! But there was a waiting game that had to happen...and it took awhile to get everything in order. But, the day came about a month later when I received this FB message from Amy:
  • November 29, 2011
  • If you havent changed your mind...Eric and I are VERY excited to start the process!!! We have all our stuff figured out and are ready to go!!! I talked to the clinic today to find out what they need me to do...I also talked to the attorney and she can have a contract drafted soon. I usually always have my phone on me so if you want to talk call anytime!:-)
    • Omg Amy! I am ready NOW!

    We called each other immediately & discussed the need to meet in person & introduce our husbands! Amy & Eric set up a date with the clinic for about a month later, December 19th & we all 4 went out to eat afterwards. I remember being SO nervous to see Amy again after all of those years & for our hubbies to meet. I just wanted it to be so perfect. And guess what?! It WAS!! We all 4 just clicked as if we were old chums. I think all of us walked away from that lunch KNOWING that this was God's perfect will & something that He had orchestrated since the beginning of time!
    The ball was finally rolling! There was so much involved in getting all of the prep work taken care of with a situation like this. All of the medical testings, the contract preparation & psychological evaluations for all 4 of us...then all of the blood work & ultrasounds & shots & medicine & syncing up of cycles between Amy & I, & harvesting of eggs, then creation of the embryos & then, at last...the implantation of 2 perfect little embryos in my prepared womb! It had been SUCH a waiting game & everything had seemed to have moved at a snail's pace (it was now the end of April when the implantation occurred...5 long months since we started the process). But it was so exciting to know we had gotten to this point! And then...4 days after the transfer, I took my first at-home pregnancy test & it was....POSITIVE! I took another the next day, positive again! A couple of days later we got the confirmation from a blood test at the clinic that it was POSITIVE! Praise the Lord!!! It was a little while later (I'm thinking a week or two, but I can't recall) that we finally confirmed that BOTH embryos had "taken" & burrowed deep into the uterine lining (fun, right?!) and Amy & Eric were now expecting TWINS! There had been only a 20% chance that that would happen, and 80% chance that at least one would implant. Twins!!!
    There were several scary months there with a lot of bleeding & scares...but I was seeing the Fertility Doctor multiple times a week & being monitored very closely & thankfully, everything was fine! Four months later, on August 13th, Amy & Eric came down for the ultrasound that showed that they were expecting a baby BOY & GIRL! We all were beyond elated! 

    August 13, 2012 Amy, myself & Eric after just receiving the good news!

    Amy has come many of the doctors visits as she can & we all have become the closest of friends. We are now "family"...forever tied together by this amazing gift & awesome bond. Our families have gotten together and really "connected". We talk everyday, through email, text, phone,etc...& I can honestly say that this whole journey has been beyond anything I could have ever asked, dreamed or imagined. God is so cool, the way He puts desires in our hearts & gives us the courage to follow...and when we obey, He makes it unfold in ways that are beyond comprehension. Who would have ever known, walking the halls of our high school so many years ago, Amy & I would be on this journey together, two families connected & two dreams interwoven into one? Any day now, I will be in that hospital room after delivery, looking into the faces of these grateful parents, holding their precious newborns...knowing fully that THIS is why I embarked on this journey. I will thank God that the ashes that their failed adoption left behind were turned into beauty by Our Creator...their family will now be complete & all of our hearts will be overflowing.

    Sisters Forever!