Bedrest. To some, a thorn in their side. To me, a wonderful opportunity to rest & recoup & recount the amazing things God has done in such a short amount of time! I am laying in my bed for just another day or two...praying and believing that the 2 perfect little embryos that were transferred into my womb yesterday will implant & make themselves at home! Boy oh boy...I'm getting ahead of myself. How did we get to this point??
The last couple of times I posted, I assured you that I had found the couple of our dreams to carry a precious miracle/miracles for! The process was a long one, but well worth the wait!! From the beginning, Russell & I hoped that we could carry for someone we knew...yet I didn't know any other way to go about this journey than to apply through an agency. After being rejected time & time again, I put off searching for a couple of years. I began thinking, "When the time is right, it will happen. God will bring us to the perfect couple. He's the one who put this desire in my heart so He will put it together, I just need to trust in Him." I began sharing my dream with others...and was so pleased at how many people encouraged & supported my dream. There were many questions & concerns, and I'm so glad for people voicing them because it really caused Russell & I to look at this from every angle and it solidified even more that this desire was truly placed in my heart by our Heavenly Father alone.
In 2010, after we had our 4th gorgeous child, Layna, we discussed that our "plan" was to have two more babies of our own when Layna was 5 or 6 years old. I couldn't shake this desire to be a surrogate for someone & I realized, as it kept coming up in my heart & mind, that it was "time" to start the search again. My husband & I had a great peace about things this time. Though I dreamed of carrying for someone that I knew, I had no idea how that could come about. So I started applying again to different surrogate agencies & again got turned down or put on absurd waiting lists because of my strict beliefs. In a last-ditch attempt, I just decided to quit trying to go through agencies, and just contact the local fertility clinic. I googled it, and simply wrote them an email describing myself, my desire, my history & asked if they knew a better way I could go about fulfilling this dream. To my great surprise, they were eager to work with me! They had me come in and we went through lots of medical testing to get myself cleared and ready....now we just had to find the perfect match for me to carry for! It was all happening so fast & I was so thrilled!! So, the fertility clinic started having me interview with hopeful moms. Again & again I just felt we didn't have the perfect "fit". I couldn't get it out of my mind that I just wanted to "know" this person or have a special bond with them through a friend or something. I couldn't explain it, but the desire was real.
As a side-note: Anyone who knows me knows I love Facebook. I love people...I love keeping up to date on their lives...I love pictures & quotes & all the joy, facts, silliness, etc that Facebook brings. I also love Facebook because without it, I do not feel that I would have ever found the couple that I was meant to be a surrogate for! As I mentioned, I was interviewing with several ladies through the clinic & I just so happened to post an update on Facebook about it. I'm so glad I did because soon after, I got the Message in my Inbox that would change my life! A sweet girl that I had gone to high school with contacted me and shared with me her & her husband's journey and heartache and desire to have a baby. I immediately flashed back to a year or so before when I had heard (through Facebook) about her heartbreak & I had written her a message back then asking if there was ANYTHING I could do (I had NO idea how, several years later, that request would flesh out....but again I'm getting ahead of myself). My heart broke for her then & broke for her again while reading this new message. She went on to share that it was their desire to have a surrogate, but the thought of searching out to find a stranger to carry their baby was (understandably!) very scary! Then, she went on to share that when I posted about my search to find the perfect couple to be a gestational surrogate for, it was as if it was meant to be! She told me her excitement over it and asked me to call her! As I read this, I thought...."This is too good to be true! This is exactly what I had hoped for! Someone I knew, but didn't know well. Someone I loved & respected. Someone who's greatest heart's desire was for a baby of their own!" I was so excited that I just had to wait until I had a good long time with NO interruptions to call her & share my excitement about it & interest in pursuing it! Well, having 4 kids ages 6 & under doesn't give me very much free time, so some time had unfortunately passed & I got another email from her letting me know she was still interested & (the sweet girl!) apologized if she upset or offended me. I immediately wrote back & apologized & reassured her that I was not at ALL upset and said that I was VERY VERY interested & shared that it just MUST be too good to be true! I called her & we talked for a very long time that night and we both just KNEW that it was meant to be! Both of our husbands were on board & we immediately started the process that has lead to where we are today!
That was back in November & it has been a busy 6 months filled with many many tests & psychological reviews & medications & ultrasounds & meetings & contract preparation, etc. We have laughed & cried together about the journey up to now & relished over our hope for the future! This past week was the biggest one in our journey so far...the egg retrieval from her (which she did fabulously at!) & yesterday, the fertility clinic implanted the 2 perfect little embryos that I mentioned above. Two little creations from this superb couple that I get to nourish & care for! Now I just need to pray & believe that the baby that God has destined since before time will grow strong & healthy in my womb for them!
We have had such an amazing time forming a bond between two families, knowing that this journey will forever make us a "family" of sorts. And we have such a long, fabulous way to go! When the time is right, we will share who this amazing couple is, but for now, please just pray for their baby/babies & for God's perfect will to be done! They are such an amazing couple and I am honored to be the one to take care of their precious baby or babies until they are ready to enter this world & enter the arms of their amazing mommy & daddy!
"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10
"He will love you and bless you and increase your numbers. He will bless the fruit of your womb..." Deuteronomy 7:13
"Wait for the LORD;be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." Psalms 27:14
